title-less
This is probably premature as an entry since my thoughts are just swimming about but perhaps as I type, my thoughts can be gathered to make some sense. So let the rumbling mumblings begin... if you can bear to continue with me...
This blog probably started out as a science blog but since what I can supply is readily available somewhere else, there didn't seem to be much of a need to carry on with the updates. I decided to add in some stuff with regards to my personal walk with God in the hope that someone may be encouraged by it, and maybe some of my friend who don't know Jesus might come to know who He is. I hope that what I blog, my thoughts and my journey in following Jesus will not be offensive to anyone but be an encouragement instead. There are certain things I hesitate in sharing for fear that people might think that I share to boost my ego, or for fear that it may be mis-read in meaning. I do pray that my blog entries will stumble no one but instead be a blessing to those who pop by to take a look.
This paragraph will be really messy and perhaps incoherent as these are issues which I am grappling with God. The Kairos conference is really good and I recommend it to all disciples of Jesus. May it shake your work upside down as it has done to mine. This is a thought that came to mind as I went through the course, which I have been pondering upon, "Jesus gave the way, the saints paved it with their blood, sweat and tears." If the saints in the past had not been willing to go forth in missions, knowing that missionaries don't last two years out in the field (they die before two years was up), and yet they went, men and women in their prime, in their twenties, arguably, the gospel may not have arrived at my shores and I may not have come to know Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. Thank God that they did, and now He asks me, what am I doing to pave this road that others may come to know Jesus too. What am I doing to pave this road for those behind me? That is the question to myself and it is shaking my world upside down. I don't know what I should do, or rather I struggle in how my views on how to spend my time, money and energies more wisely. It is the clash of self-will versus God's will and it tears me apart, as it always do until I come in humble surrender. For now, I continue to struggle to find my bearings with regard to this.
The Christian life isn't a bed of roses as some might think. It is actually a bed of rose thorns. The more I grow in my Christian walk as I study the bible and seek God, the more thorns I discover pricking me; God's will versus my will. Thank God that the Christian life isn't a life of pushing myself to conform to God's ways with my own strength but one of surrender, to allow God to transform me to His ways, empowering me by the Holy Spirit - divine power necessary for that transformation. In short, the Christian life is utterly impossible if one tries to live it by His own strength. It is only possible when surrendered and empowered by the Holy Spirit. The emphasis is always more on being than on doing. The Christian life is not focused on doing things for God but focused on being in the right relationship with God. The doings are to stem from the being; no being can stem from doing.
If you have read this far and think that I'm some super spiritual being and all, don't. I have, in recent days, begin to see myself, as Paul did, as the chief of all sinners as I view my life in the light of God's holiness and perfection. I am slowly beginning to understand why Paul calls himself chief among sinners. He's not trying to say something contrary to what everyone thinks to show how humble he is, and neither am I. When compared with other people, we may think that someone is a greater sinner than others. However, when one fix his eyes on God and measure himself with God's standard, he realises how everyone is right at the bottom and there is no comparison capable with anyone else. Against God's standard, everyone is so far away, utterly sinful and irredeemable except by the glorious sacrifice of Jesus, the only holy one who had ever lived on earth. I am still growing in this understand of the depth of my sin and the glory of God's holiness and the more-than-abundant grace of Jesus Christ, and I encourage everyone to come with me on this journey that we may seek to be humbled and broken, and for those who don't know Jesus, to come to have life, and life in abundance as He promised.
And now if anyone thinks that the only thing on my mind is God, then know too that I think about issues such as career and relationships as everyone does. The issue of relationships have indeed been upon my mind these past months and years and my opinions and thoughts and desires have changed much, and are still changing. The recent weeks have seen this issue blossoming into life again after a period of time in which I had no desire for a relationship. Thankfully, I have grown to enjoy and love my current gift of singlehood. Now, I wonder if it's time for me to move on, and if so, who. However, thanks to Kairos shaking my world upside down, my image of who I should look for is also being distorted and re-shaped. And the truth is, I think I know who (as in what type) I should look for and yet I don't really know. That or the heart is deceitful above all else, and it is, or my mind is just plain messed up and I'm speaking nonsense, though perhaps this isn't really nonsense but actual sense. Anyway, I think some level of confusion is a certainty in this issue. More to ponder on and further confusion to sink into seems to be the course ahead, yet to not plow ahead into this unknown is surely to stagnate in growth. Thankfully I'm not going in totally blind as God did say that His word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path. Sadly, in biblical days, this meant a really small light that lights the path only a few steps ahead a time. So, as how God often works, it's still going to be much confusion not knowing where I'm going until I have arrived and looking back, then do I see everything in place and how much sense it makes in that order. The joy of faith, it really is a Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him.
So I guess that leaves this issue of 'title-less' done. If you ever come across another entry title rather unaptly 'title-less', you'll know to be prepared for more confusion and long, confusing sentences with possible multi-meanings. In short, you may want to skip further such entries if you're already having a headache having tried to follow the paths of my thoughts...
This blog probably started out as a science blog but since what I can supply is readily available somewhere else, there didn't seem to be much of a need to carry on with the updates. I decided to add in some stuff with regards to my personal walk with God in the hope that someone may be encouraged by it, and maybe some of my friend who don't know Jesus might come to know who He is. I hope that what I blog, my thoughts and my journey in following Jesus will not be offensive to anyone but be an encouragement instead. There are certain things I hesitate in sharing for fear that people might think that I share to boost my ego, or for fear that it may be mis-read in meaning. I do pray that my blog entries will stumble no one but instead be a blessing to those who pop by to take a look.
This paragraph will be really messy and perhaps incoherent as these are issues which I am grappling with God. The Kairos conference is really good and I recommend it to all disciples of Jesus. May it shake your work upside down as it has done to mine. This is a thought that came to mind as I went through the course, which I have been pondering upon, "Jesus gave the way, the saints paved it with their blood, sweat and tears." If the saints in the past had not been willing to go forth in missions, knowing that missionaries don't last two years out in the field (they die before two years was up), and yet they went, men and women in their prime, in their twenties, arguably, the gospel may not have arrived at my shores and I may not have come to know Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. Thank God that they did, and now He asks me, what am I doing to pave this road that others may come to know Jesus too. What am I doing to pave this road for those behind me? That is the question to myself and it is shaking my world upside down. I don't know what I should do, or rather I struggle in how my views on how to spend my time, money and energies more wisely. It is the clash of self-will versus God's will and it tears me apart, as it always do until I come in humble surrender. For now, I continue to struggle to find my bearings with regard to this.
The Christian life isn't a bed of roses as some might think. It is actually a bed of rose thorns. The more I grow in my Christian walk as I study the bible and seek God, the more thorns I discover pricking me; God's will versus my will. Thank God that the Christian life isn't a life of pushing myself to conform to God's ways with my own strength but one of surrender, to allow God to transform me to His ways, empowering me by the Holy Spirit - divine power necessary for that transformation. In short, the Christian life is utterly impossible if one tries to live it by His own strength. It is only possible when surrendered and empowered by the Holy Spirit. The emphasis is always more on being than on doing. The Christian life is not focused on doing things for God but focused on being in the right relationship with God. The doings are to stem from the being; no being can stem from doing.
If you have read this far and think that I'm some super spiritual being and all, don't. I have, in recent days, begin to see myself, as Paul did, as the chief of all sinners as I view my life in the light of God's holiness and perfection. I am slowly beginning to understand why Paul calls himself chief among sinners. He's not trying to say something contrary to what everyone thinks to show how humble he is, and neither am I. When compared with other people, we may think that someone is a greater sinner than others. However, when one fix his eyes on God and measure himself with God's standard, he realises how everyone is right at the bottom and there is no comparison capable with anyone else. Against God's standard, everyone is so far away, utterly sinful and irredeemable except by the glorious sacrifice of Jesus, the only holy one who had ever lived on earth. I am still growing in this understand of the depth of my sin and the glory of God's holiness and the more-than-abundant grace of Jesus Christ, and I encourage everyone to come with me on this journey that we may seek to be humbled and broken, and for those who don't know Jesus, to come to have life, and life in abundance as He promised.
And now if anyone thinks that the only thing on my mind is God, then know too that I think about issues such as career and relationships as everyone does. The issue of relationships have indeed been upon my mind these past months and years and my opinions and thoughts and desires have changed much, and are still changing. The recent weeks have seen this issue blossoming into life again after a period of time in which I had no desire for a relationship. Thankfully, I have grown to enjoy and love my current gift of singlehood. Now, I wonder if it's time for me to move on, and if so, who. However, thanks to Kairos shaking my world upside down, my image of who I should look for is also being distorted and re-shaped. And the truth is, I think I know who (as in what type) I should look for and yet I don't really know. That or the heart is deceitful above all else, and it is, or my mind is just plain messed up and I'm speaking nonsense, though perhaps this isn't really nonsense but actual sense. Anyway, I think some level of confusion is a certainty in this issue. More to ponder on and further confusion to sink into seems to be the course ahead, yet to not plow ahead into this unknown is surely to stagnate in growth. Thankfully I'm not going in totally blind as God did say that His word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path. Sadly, in biblical days, this meant a really small light that lights the path only a few steps ahead a time. So, as how God often works, it's still going to be much confusion not knowing where I'm going until I have arrived and looking back, then do I see everything in place and how much sense it makes in that order. The joy of faith, it really is a Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him.
So I guess that leaves this issue of 'title-less' done. If you ever come across another entry title rather unaptly 'title-less', you'll know to be prepared for more confusion and long, confusing sentences with possible multi-meanings. In short, you may want to skip further such entries if you're already having a headache having tried to follow the paths of my thoughts...
posted by desmond at 11:40 PM
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